Thursday, June 13, 2013

Meeee Tooooo

I have been thinking of doing some writing about what it is like to be invisible. It happens to me all the time. I have often remarked to my husband that the car seems to have the "invisible shield" deployed, because I am constantly in an "avoid or get hit" mode. That's not what I am talking about though.

I was the second of three girls, right smack in the middle. Even after my mother had two more children with a different father, I was still in the middle. I was never first. I was never cutest, and any time I tried to push for such recognition, I was accused of the "me too" attitude. Only one can be first. Only one can be the cutest baby. Only one can be .... you name it .... and my rant and question for the day is, who made up those rules? Why only one? That seems like such a waste to me.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a fan of the "everybody plays" mentality either, but a lot of hard work and a lot of accomplishment gets overlooked by the "best/first/cutest" mentality.

Just a quick case in point. When I lived in Texas and my children were in sports, the high school athletics seemed to rule the scene (can be the source of a completely different rant, but I'll pass on that for the moment). With over 250 teams in one level of play, only eighty-some will make the playoffs. These eighty-some represent the teams with the best records in the state. Of these eighty-some teams, only one will emerge as state champion, which is an incredible thing to do, don't get me wrong, but also consider this

Of the eighty-some teams with the best record:
  • Only one (the state champion) will win their final game (which can be a really big deal for seniors).
  • Only one will be left with the feeling that they accomplished their goal, regardless of all the platitudes uttered at the final awards banquet.
  • Only one will have that euphoric sense that they are "the best."
So what about the other eighty-some? They are the middle children. Probably good enough on any given day to play with and even defeat "the best," but by the luck of the draw, just missed out. They do not get the ability to bask in their accomplishments. If they say that they made the regional quarter-finals, the attitude, if not the actual response is, "but you didn't win." How sad is that.

People inspire others. People work hard to accomplish things. No person is an island and no accomplishment is made in a vacuum.